Dear God, I'm Trying

By Anniessa Anderson

This week has been heavy. Not just the kind of heavy you can shake off with a nap or a walk The kind that settles in your bones — emotional weight, financial pressure, unexpected pain. The kind that makes you whisper, “God, are You even watching?”

If I’m being honest, I’m tired. Tired of bouncing back. Tired of smiling through it. Tired of being “the strong one. ”This week brought a car accident, unexpected bills, and that lingering ache of wondering how I’m going to keep it all together. Again.

But I also want to say this: I understand why people stay. In relationships that don’t serve them. In jobs that drain them. In places they’ve outgrown. Because even when it’s toxic, at least it’s familiar. You know what’s coming. You know how to move around it, but when you leave — it’s unknown. Let's be honest the unknown? It’s scary.

Nobody talks enough about the grief of letting go of something, even when it wasn’t good for you. The fear of starting over. The pressure to be sure. The loneliness that follows your decision before peace catches up.

So if you’re in a place where you’re trying — to make a decision, to stay gone, to believe better is coming…

I see you. And more importantly — God sees you.

Because as much as I want answers, I’m learning to be okay with just having faith. Faith that God has a plan for me. Faith that this pain is not the end of my story. Faith that if I stay the course — broken, tired, uncertain — He will finish what He started.

This week’s journal prompt:

“Where am I trying — and what do I need to release? ”Write it out. Cry it out. Pray it out. Let yourself be fully human.

Coming Soon: Sacred Sisterhood Circle – “Dear God, I’m Trying”

Our first virtual circle launches this June. Not a class. Not a lecture. Just a sacred space to breathe, be seen, and be honest. More details coming soon.

If this post spoke to you — share it. Tag a friend. Or just say, “Me too.” You’re not alone. You’re not crazy. And you’re not failing. You’re just healing — on purpose. And God is still working behind the scenes.